Ghosting Is Unacceptable

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

-- The Golden Rule

Why would you ignore someone who gave you the time of day?

I never understood how someone would choose to ghost over a quick, potentially uncomfortable update.

While I can empathize with the reasoning behind ghosting, how uncomfortable it may be, and how it is so much easier than a reply, it catches me off guard every time.

If you gave me a time slot from your day to explain your process, tell me a story, have an open discussion, or answer some questions, wouldn't you expect an update if I decided not to proceed with you?

It is so easy to politely reply with a "No, thank you." It is so simple to even lie and explain that "management decided on a different route." It is so quick to update that "it is out of our budget," or that "we've stopped the activity," or even that "we'll need to think about it and will update you if it's of interest."

Any of the above, or any other reply, may not come with a smile. But it is better than falling off the face of the earth and ignoring someone who may be a total stranger, an ex-colleague, a contact, or even an actual friend. True story.

Ignoring in place of an update doesn't result in a better outcome, doesn't leave a good impression, and is never deserved. In fact, it does the opposite: it makes you look unprofessional, leaves a bad taste, and any future possibility to work together, collaborate, or help each other is gone.

Have the common courtesy to take 20 to 30 seconds and let the other person know it isn't going further.

Wouldn't you want the same if the tables were turned?